Total Drama: Hollywood Hotel 1

Chris McLean is seen standing in front of an unknown building, wearing his signature khaki shorts and navy shirt, with a gleaming smile on his face. "Welcome to another season of Total Drama!" he announces. "We've endured 4 shocking seasons of drama, tears, twists, and turns," he continues, "but this season takes everything you know about this show and shatters it to pieces! We've brought back 9 past contestants favored by you guys, the fans, to compete against 9 all-new Total Drama fans! I promise you, it will be wicked!" The shot zooms out to reveal that Chris is standing in front of a run-down motel with a neon sign that reads "Total Drama Inn". "We've brought all 18 contestants to compete here, at this hotel, in Hollywood! The challenges will be themed after the thing all humans want in life: fame. Get ready for the most dramatic season yet, right here on Total! Drama! Hollywood Hotel!" As he finishes his parting words, the "D" in drama on the sign goes out and the "I" from Inn falls to the ground.

theme song

Chris is once again standing in front of the motel, this time with a bus that appeared to have just arrived in front of it. "Welcome back!" he says. "It's about time we meet our contestants, don't you think? First off, the favorites! Here's Anne Maria!"

An overly tanned girl with poofy black hair and large hips struts out of the bus. "I'm back, baby!" she states happily. "Of caus', that diamond wasn't worth anythin' last season, so I could really use that million!" "Let's hope this season has good ratings, because we don't have it yet!" Chris announces. "Next up is Courtney!"

A hispanic girl with brown hair and a formal manner to her walks out of the bus typing on a PDA with an assistant carrying her luggage behind her. "You can set that down here," she tells him, and he does. "Thanks, Michael! Thanks for inviting me back, Chris. I can't say I'm surprised to be a 'favorite', but I'm just glad that...goth girl Gwen and cheater Duncan aren't back."

"We just give what the audience wants," Chris says with his signature charming smile.

"Well, I'm pleased they wanted me back," Courtney says contentedly.

"Our next contestant is Dakota!" Chris announces.

A blonde, pretty girl with a "fashionista" feel exits the bus. She has a hot pink top on and darker pink pants. "Hi!" she greets in a childlike, excitable voice. "It's great to be back, Chris!" She walks up to him and plants a kiss on his cheek, leaving a lipstick stain. "But the real reason I'm here is the fans!" She proceeds to run up to the camera and give it a kiss, too. A hand is seen using a handkerchief to wipe the lipstick away.

"How have you been doing since the last season?" Chris asks.

"Well, I got treatment for my radiation poisoning," Dakota answers. "The media was, like, all over it."

"Interesting! Well, it's time for our next contestant. Come on out, Dawn!" Chris calls out.

A pale blonde girl wearing a green sweatshirt is carried in by a few birds while sitting in the lotus position and appearing to be meditating. "Hello, Chris," she says in a high-pitched voice. The birds set her down and fly away and she gets up and dusts herself off. "Dakota and Anne Maria are back, too, I see."

"Yep!" Dakota says, jumping into view of the camera. "Yeah, I'm back. Haha!"

"I don't know you yet," Dawn says, referring to Courtney, "but I'm pleased to be competing with you! Your aura looks promising."

"Wait, you can actually read auras? And all that other...supernatural stuff?" Courtney asks, confused.

"Yes," Dawn answers. "I was taught by Mother Nature, who raised me far better than any parent could."

"I thought that was scripted," Courtney mutters.

"Introducing Ezekiel!" Chris announces.

A ratty-looking boy wearing a beanie and warm clothing walks out of the bus. "Back for a third season, eh?" he says in a thick Canadian accent.

"Please tell me you've gotten the chance to go to a regular high school," Chris says to him with pity.

"Nope," Ezekiel says, shaking his head. Chris sighs in disappointment.

"C'mon, people," a voice says from off-camera, "Homeschool doesn't need that much screentime."

"And here's Heather!" Chris announces. An asian girl with black hair wearing tight, short clothing is seen. Dawn is seen wincing at the sight of her while Courtney gives her an angry glare.

"Yeah, I think we all know who I am," Heather comments with annoyance.

"You haven't changed a bit," Chris adds. "Our next returning contestant is Izzy!"

"Hey, guys!" a frizzy-haired girl with green clothes and a wild look in her eye says. "This isn't like what I was imagining at all! So we're in Hollywood, huh? Wow, land of mooovies. Are we going to make a movie? Making a movie would be, like, so fun!" She began to cackle psychotically.

"I was an extra in The Thirsty Games," states Dakota proudly.

"Really? I got to lead in, like, 3 movies until I had a total meltdown on set and almost killed the director with his own cat!! Crazy, right? Hahahaha!" Izzy says. Dakota suddenly gets an uncomfortable look and is quiet.

"Next up is Lindsay!" Chris announces.

"Hiiii-iiii!" A blonde girl perhaps fitting the "dumb blonde" stereotype says.

"Great," Heather says sarcastically.

"Hay, I think I remembah ya from one of those singin' episodes," Anne Maria says.

"I WON that season!" Heather yells viciously, getting in Anne Maria's face.

"Don't ya be gattin' all up in mah business!!" Anne Maria yells back. "I gawt bettah things to do in Joysey than watch pointless telavision!"

"Oh, sure," Heather retorts, "like partying with your 'guido' friends?"

"I was almost on that show!" Anne Maria screams. They are about to get into a fistfight before being interrupted.

"Hey, guys, this is awesome," Chris cuts in, laughing, "but we're kind of on a schedule, so our next favorite is Noah!"

"Oh, yeah, this looks like an awesome cast," Noah comments, dragging his heavy luggage out of the bus.

"Always looking at the bright side," Chris comments sarcastically.

"How is he a favorite? He was voted out, like, third," Dakota says.

"And what place did you get, princess? Plus, I returned for the third season," Noah corrects.

"Well...I-I got to return, too!" Dakota fought.

"Because of who, and you became what?" Noah retorts, finally pulling his luggage to where it needs to be. Dakota silently retreated, defeated.

"That was interesting," Chris comments. "Our final favorite is Tyler!"

"Yeah!" Tyler yells, bounding out of the bus. He trips on the stairs and starts to fall, but does a somersault and recovers, ending in a splits formation. "I've been working on that," he says proudly.

"Taylor!!" Lindsay cries happily, running up to him. She helps him up and gives him a kiss on the cheek. Heather groans at this.

"You seem wholly nice," Dawn informs Tyler. "Your spirit animal is the dog, loyal and a great companion but vicious when you need to be."

"Uh...cool!" Tyler says, not sure how to react.

"Don't mind her," Anne Maria says casually. "Ya get used to it."

"Alright, as you all know, Tyler was the last returning favorite," Chris begins. "This season you will be competing against 10 die-hard Total Drama fans. They're already waiting for you inside the hotel. Let's go!" Chris proceeded to lead the 10 favorites into the Total Drama Inn to meet get a look at the 10 fans. Waiting inside was a crowd of misfits with one thing in common: their love for the game.

The group of people included a feminine African-American teen, a genderless Brazilian, and a male with a wispy and unappealing mustache. The favorites squirmed uncomfortably at the group leaving much to be desired visually. "Meet...the fans!" Chris introduced half-enthusiastically. There was an awkward pause before Chris continued. "Anyway, um, you'll each be sharing a room with somebody else on your team. And yes, you'll have to share a bed."

"Chris,"  JER interrupted. "Explain what you mean. Do we get to choose our roommate?"

Chris began to laugh maniacally. The contestants gave each other looks and shrugged. When Chris finished laughing, he wiped a tear from his eye and said, "You clearly have no idea how this game works. And, you'll be rooming with OHF."

"I'll take that as a no," JER said. Meanwhile, OHF was stuffing his face with pizza. When he heard he was rooming with JER, he stopped dead and the pizza fell out of his mouth, but before it could hit the floor, OHF snapped out of it and caught it again. Stuffing it back into his mouth, he spoke.

"Apeaijrpew pjaweirajwerowi jpijpepjre?" he said. Then, after swallowing, he repeated what he had said. "I have to room with ''him?" ''

"Don't you love this game?" Chris laughed. "The other room assignments for your team are Duke with BB, Survivor with Mana, Jay with Jess, and Gideon with Bruno."

"What?" Gideon gasped, bent over from years of arthritis and leaning on a ruler for a walking stick. "I can't be in the same parameters as my monogamous partner?"

"Sorry, no mixed genders, dude. Aside from Mana, we're not really sure what he is." Chris said. "Anyway, the favorites will be paired, too. Anne Maria, Heather, and Courtney together, Dakota with Lindsay, Izzy with Dawn, and Ezekiel, Tyler, and Noah together."

"Yaaay!" Lindsay squealed, hugging Dakota. "Oh my God, we're going to be, like, best friends!"

"Aaaaand," Chris cut in, "you'll all find cameras in your hotel toilets that you can use as confessionals! Now, go on to your rooms!" The contestants shuffled away to their rooms.

Heather (CONF): This could not be worse.

Anne Maria (CONF): I love mah gurls!

Courtney (CONF): *facepalms*

Mana and Survivor were in their room, unpacking their things. "Dude, I had an idea," Survivor said.

"Yeah?" Mana responded.

"What if they made a Total Drama season that was completely antagonists?" Survivor said.

"Uh, that'd be cool, I guess," Mana said, not really paying attention.

"And every episode would be a blindside! That would be AWESOME!" Survivor continued. "I even made a fanfic about it!"

Mana (CONF): Yeah, Survivor's pretty much obsessed with Total Drama and annoying the hell out of me.

Jay and Jess were in their room, unpacking as well.

"Isn't it exciting to be here?" Jay said. "We're on Total Drama! We're gonna be on TV!" She turned around and waved to the camera. "Hi, Mom!!"

"Yeah, sure is," Jess said. Randomly, she spoke again. "I got tengaged-- engaged!! -- last month, you know."

"Really? Well, Gideon and I have been married for 10 years now! Best of luck to you two," Jay said.

"His name is Damian and he's super hot," Jess said.

"That's awesome!" Jay said.

"He's awesome," Jess gushed. She pulled out a picture of a supermodel-esque man and showed it to Jay. "Isn't he perfect?"

"How come it's signed by Brad--" Jay began, but Jess pulled the picture away.

"No reason!! I mean, it was--uh, that's not--well, you see--we call him Brad! But his real name is Damian. I prefer Damian, so I call him that. Yeah." Jess paused for a second, but then ran off so Jay couldn't keep the conversation going.

"I hope you're unpacked," Chris shouted through a megaphone. "I'll need everybody down here in 2 minutes!"

2 minutes later, everybody was back in the lobby and ready to go. "Is everybody ready for their first challenge?" Chris announced. A lot of cheering was heard, but a quick shot of the scene revealed that the fans were the only ones cheering. "Since we're in Los Angeles, fame is going to be a big theme of this season. Your first challenge is going to be focused on the golden gem of Hollywood: acting."

"YES!" Dakota cheered. "I'm great at acting!" She blew a kiss to the camera. "Hey you agents out there, make sure to tune into me, mmmk? Hahaha!"

"Anyway," Chris continued as if Dakota hadn't said anything, "you'll have to react to different scenarios as if you are a certain character. Chef will give you guys your characters. Good luck!"

"Ooooh, improv!" Dakota said. "Juicy!" 

"Juicy?" OHF said quickly, his ears perking up. Chef then walked out and delivered each of the contestants a card. They were seen glaring in disgust at their different characters.

"First, all of you will have to react to..." Chris announced, "this!" An attractive model strutted into the room and many of the guys began to drool. "No, not her," Chris laughed. She then pulled a komodo dragon out of a cage she was carrying with her and placed on the ground. "My friend James!"

"KILL IIIIIIT!!" Dakota said instantly. "Uh, I mean...friendly thing. It's, uh, cute!!"

"Nice save by Dakota...I guess," Chris said.

"I refuse to participate in this challenge," JER said. "I don't even know what this character is! If it's not in Total Drama America, it's clearly not sophisticated enough for reality TV."

"You sure, dude? That could be a million dollars you're giving up right now," Chris said.

"I'm sure," JER said, handing back his card.

"Okay, JER is out for the fans!" Chris announced.

"I don't think I can do this, either," Jay said. "I just don't think I could be as mean as my little ol' character here!"

"Fans take a huge loss when JER and Jay both quit in the first round!!" Chris narrates. "This could be where the favorites get an advantage! They've been doing this for years."

"I, ummmm....don't, uhhh...like....komodo dragons? Eh?" Ezekiel said.

"...Yeah, not good enough. You're out, dude." Chris said. "After the first round, where you guys sucked, we stand with 8 Fans left and 9 Favorites left. Pick it up, guys!"

"No more quitting, guys," Mana said wearily.

"We have to win this one," Courtney told her team. "Work!"

"Next, you guys will be reacting to...this!" Chris announced. A horde of paparazzi burst into the room. Taking pictures of everyone, Dakota instantly began posing and flashing her picture-perfect smile to the cameras. "Dakota's out! Her character was a humble, nature-loving girl!"

"You assigned Dakota to play the role of Dawn?" JER asked from the sidelines. Chris shushed him and the contestants continued to act as their character would.

"AAAAAAH!" Anne Maria cried, picking up a chair and smashing it over the head of one of the photographers. Chris started cracking up and Anne Maria did the same thing to another. The contestants had no idea whether this was part of her character or not, but the favorites knew not to stray from their character for a second.

"Anne Maria!" BB shrieked. "What are you doing?!"

"BB's out!" Chris announced, still laughing. "He broke character!"

"Hey, baby," Noah said to a female paparazzi, somehow sounding sarcastic and sincere at the same time as only Noah can do, "want to go for a ride?"

"That's how Jerry and I met!" Jess blurted out.

"Jess is eliminated!" Chris announces.

"I thought his name was Damian," Jay said to Jess.

"Uh, Jerry isn't Damian! Ha ha! No, Jerry's my ex," Jess said.

"And the 2nd round is over! The fans lost 2 more members, down to 6, while the favorites still stand strong at 9."

"C'mon, guys!" BB cheered from the sidelines.

"Next up is...this!" Chris announced. Country music started blaring through the room. Heather took a deep breath in and exhaled, then reluctantly began to talk.

"Why, I just love this song!" Heather said in a perfect country accent, fluttering her eyelashes. "It reminds me of back home on the prairie when the buffalo would just roaaaam the fields and the dandelions would grow everywhere!" For a moment, there was silence, and even the music stopped. Heather turned bright red and most of her team began to laugh at her. The fans had utmost respect for a player like Heather and did nothing.

"In a surprising turn of events," Chris began, "Courtney, Anne Maria, Izzy, Noah, and Lindsay are out! Only Tyler, Dawn, and Heather remain for the faves, while Bruno, Survivor, Duke, Gideon, Mana, and OHF are left for the fans!" OHF was stuffing a cinnamon bun down his throat and suddenly passed out from not being able to breathe. "Uh, minus OHF. Can we get medical attention in here?"



"And we're back!" Chris announced. "During our little...break, Heather quit the challenge, so now only Tyler and Dawn are left for the favorites!"

"Let's do this!" Tyler cried. For the next item the contestants would react to, DJ's Momma walked into the room.

"DJ's not even in this season," Courtney commented from the sidelines. A tomato flew up and hit her in the face.

"We like his mom better, anyway," Chris laughed. DJ's Momma began throwing vegetables and fruits at the contestants.

"'Ey! Don't you withhold any respect for the elderly, missy?" Gideon gasped.

"Gideon's out!" Chris announced.

"Darn!" Gideon exclaimed.

"You know, there's never been a challenge anything like this in the history of Total Drama," Survivor commented.

"And now Survivor's out," Chris announced.

"What?" Survivor asked, horrified. "I lost a challenge?"

"You broke character, man," Chris told him.

"Pare com isso, você mulher desagradável! Enis Brasília merece não verduras jogados para ela!" Mana yelled, feigning anger. He then turned to the camera and flipped his hair and spoke again, "Não deixe de comprar Oba Oba Oba em iMusicas!"

"What?" Tyler asked, confused.

"Tyler's out!" Chris announced.

"What?! No!! I mean--uh, Brazilians suck!! Or was that Spanish? Spaniels suck!"

"Too late, man," Chris said. "You should work on your extreme Canadian pride, too. That sucked anyway."

"Dang!" Tyler said. A rotten crab apple was thrown at him, but he dodged it. "Ha ha! I've been--" he began before getting hit in the face with a mushy orange. "Yeah, I deserved--" he began again, interrupted by a peach to his crotch. "Okay, that I didn't see coming," he said, before falling to the ground.

"I think that's good for this round," Chris said.

"My character is ridiculous," Mana said incredulously.

"We weren't really sure whether to give you a girl or a boy part, so we flipped a coin," Chris chuckled. Mana groaned.

"I not sure what do," Bruno said.

"Just do what I do," Mana reassured him.

"We now have Mana and Bruno left for the fans, and Dawn left for the favorites! Dawn has yet to play her part, playing it safe, but she will now have to do something if she wants to stay alive in this challenge!"

"Chris, I'm not sure if I can do this," Dawn said unconfidently.

"You can do it!" Dakota cheered.

"You have to do it!" Courtney yelled furiously. "Win, Dawn, win!!"

"For your final round, you will be reacting as if you just got the news that you were accepted to the new hit reality show, Island of Total Drama!" Chris announced.

"Really?" Noah said. Chris glared at him.

"Oba! Eu posso finalmente obter publicidade e mostrar o meu belo rosto para o mundo! Eles merecem ver uma pessoa como eu na TV a realidade," Mana said confidently. Bruno repeated exactly what Mana said like he was told.

"Bruno's out! It's down to Dawn and Mana," Chris narrated. "Dawn, you have to do something now if you want to win for your team."

"Yay," Dawn said unenthusiastically. She looked like she was going to cry.

"...That's it?" Chris said. "That was...pathetic. The fans win!!" The fans cheered and hugged Mana. The favorites glared at Dawn.

"I promise you, that's not the extent of my abilities!" Dawn told her team desperately.

"Whatever," Courtney sighed.

"Favorites, you can stay in the lobby as long as you need to so you can figure out who's going home tonight. Fans, head on back to your rooms!" Chris announced. The fans cheered once more and headed up the elevator and to their rooms.

"It's no question in my mind who's going home tonight," Heather told her team.

"As long as it's not me, eh?" Ezekiel nodded.

"It's okay, Dawn," Izzy said. "Sometimes I can't perform under pressure, either. Like this one time when the government asked me to decipher a message in an ancient language that never existed, I could only get one measly word translated!"

"Well, I'm gonna go collect wood," Dakota broke in. "Anyone want to come? Heather, Courtney, Dawn?" There was a brief pause and everyone looked at Dakota. "What?"

"We'ah in a hotel," Anne Maria told Dakota quizzically.

"...Whatever, you guys, just come over here," Dakota said. Dakota led the 3 girls out of earshot of the rest of the team, who took little notice of Dakota's fatal blunder.

"Yes?" Courtney asked impatiently.

"I have a game-changing proposition for you girls," Dakota said excitedly.

"An alliance?" Heather interjected.

"Wha--how'd you know?" Dakota asked.

"Did you even watch Total Drama Island?" Heather asked.

"An alliance?" Dawn asked. "I didn't consider that in my first run of the game..."

"And you got out 4th!" Dakota pointed out. "This could be your chance!"

"I suppose," Dawn said.

Heather (CONF) : Dakota's alliance is completely and totally stupid, and us 4 aren't going to be the final 4. But I'll stick with it. (files nails) For now.

"So who did you want to vote tonight? How are we going to turn the votes away from Dawn?" Courtney asked Dakota.

"Leave that to me," Heather said, turning and walking back to the main group.

Back with the fans, things were going very well. They were coming together as a team much better than the favorites.

"So I was like, get a life!" Mana said, finishing a story to Bruno, OHF, and BB. They all laughed.

"Hey, guys, want some pizza?" Jay asked, walking over. "Jess snuck it under her shirt!"

"Boob-pizza?" Bruno asked, confused.

"YES WE WANT SOME," OHF answered, swallowing 2 slices whole. The rest of them each took one slice and ate it while continuing their chatter.

BB (CONF) : Our team is synching really well. We're more like the veterans than we are the fans. (laughs)

Bruno began to walk back to his room when JER pulled him aside. "Listen," he began, "we can make a little deal. A pair can be very strong in this game, as we both know. I want your vote. But I'll give you something in return."

"Yes, I do not want that," Bruno replied happily. JER ignored him.

"If you give me your vote every time I ask for it, you can get a special free ticket to the screening of Total Drama: World in Progress. Deal?"

"Yes," Bruno said, shaking his head. JER shook Bruno's hand, then let Bruno return to his room.

Back with the favorites, who thought it was a done deal that Dawn was going home, Heather got a chance to speak with Noah and Ezekiel.

Heather (CONF): What I needed to engineer this elimination was two votes. I really only need one, because that would be 5/10 votes and Dawn probably wouldn't go home in a tiebreaker. But just in case one flips, I needed two. So I picked two people that, strategically would make good votes.

Her voiceover continued as Heather grabbed Noah and Ezekiel. "A follower and a thinker."

Heather began to whisper to them so the rest of the team wouldn't overhear them. "Listen," she began. "I'm not going to beat around the bush. I need your votes. Tonight. Dawn is not going home."

"What?" Ezekiel asked loudly, only to be shushed by Heather and Noah.

"Go on," Noah said.

"Dawn could be loyal still and could be valuable in challenges that don't test her moral laws," Heather explained. "You know who the one variable that can't be pinned down is?" She let them think for a moment before continuing. "Izzy."

"How do I know this isn't a plot to get one of us out?" Noah said.

"You're going to need to trust me," Heather answered.

"You're not exactly known for your trustworthiness."

"How stupid would you have to be to betray someone in the first episode?" Heather asked. She walked away from the two, leaving them with that final thought.

A few hours later, the elimination ceremony was beginning. The contestants were seated in a theater and Chris walked out onto the stage. "Welcome to the first elimination ceremony of Total Drama: Hollywood Hotel. You know why you're here? Because you sucked." He laughed at their expense, then continued. "This season, you will get a playbill for a play featuring you that will represent your immunity. You've all cast your votes and made your decision, and the elimination ceremony starts now."

"We've done this before, ya know," Anne Maria commented. Chris gave her the look of death.

"First playbill goes to...Courtney," Chris said, tossing her the paper.

"The Life of a C.I.T?" Courtney asked incredulously. "I'll have you know that within a year I'll be a full-fledged counselor!"

Chris ignored her and continued. "Anne Maria, Dakota," he said.

"Joysey Showah Reject?!" Anne Maria cried.

"A Failed Star?!" Dakota yelled. Chris laughed at them.

"Tyler, Noah, Ezekiel, Lindsay, here you go!" Chris announced.

"The Athete from The Bruised Lagoon," Tyler read. "I can live with that."

"Aaaaand....Heather!" Chris said, throwing the playbill to her. "Dawn, Izzy, you are the two people who recieved the most votes tonight. One of you will be going home. And you can never come back. Ev-er."

Izzy was seen not paying much attention, while Dawn was biting her lip in anticipation. "Dawn, you sucked in the challenge today. Izzy, you're just...insane. I'm not really sure why anyone would want to have you around," Chris said. "The first person voted out of Total Drama: Hollywood Hotel is....

Izzy."

"Whatever, I can't stay in one place for too long anyway, haha!" Izzy said. As if on cue, uniformed men burst into the room and Izzy's eyes widened.

"Get her!" one yelled, but she kicked him in the face and exited the theater, all of the men running after her.

"And that was the last anyone heard of Izzy," Noah said, making everyone laugh.

"Already it seems the favorites are on the bottom! What will happen next time? Tune in to Total! Drama! Hollywood Hotel!"